gigglingurly04

the life of me
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2002-03-09 03:54:52 (UTC)

3-8-02

hello again...
let's see, where did i leave off? oh yea, last time i
wrote to you i was hopelessly in love w/ my best friend and
on the verge of insanity... am i right? well, i think that
finally, after almost 2 years of unchanging, everincreasing
infatuation w/ this guy... finally i woke up. i've realized
something this week. russ, to me, is just russ. ok, so
maybe it'll change. i'm not so naive to think that
something like that can just die so suddenly, but you know
what i'm saying? i'm sure we have a future. but that future
is DEFFINITLY in the future. for now it's just russ and
lyns... friends. :) we're cool now! it's awesome, i think
today was the first NORMAL conversation i've had w/ him in
a long time. i've still got a little thing for him though.
but it's just one of those things that i'll always have. i
mean, even when i'm 35 years old and married... knowing
that he's in love with another woman will always bring my
blood to a somewhat mild boil. like, he likes this girl...
a friend of mine. and when he told me he liked her, i was
still "in love" w/ him. so it hurt. oh dear lord did it
ever hurt! but today when he was telling me about her, i
got upset at first. wondering why her instead of me... ya
know, that kinda thing. but after a while... it was just me
giving girl advice to my best friend (not something
uncommon in lynsey-land). so yea, then he called me. he
hasn't called me in FOREVER!!! we used to talk all the
time, i mean i think i talked to him on the phone everyday
for two weeks this summer. and then it started to slow down
to a trickle of once a week. then he called me in like
early january or so... but since then, today was the first
time! i was so excited. i mean, i could hardly believe it
was really him on the phone (i actually thought it was my
cousin at first, but then he said his famous "ok"... he has
this whole tone thing.... ok, whatever, you don't care :)
lol so i knew it was him after that!). so yea, i think i'm
starting to have feelings for my ex boyfriend now. his
name's dominique (but i call him domi). i dated him
freshman year for about 2 months, and then again this year
for 2 weeks. but it was all a mess. neither one of us were
mature enough for it. but now that i've found myself
learning new things about life and myself, i've really
grown up. and in spending a lot of time w/ him lately, i've
discovered that he has too. so we'll say what goes on
there. i think i'm going to make my debute into the "just
dating" world. i'm thinking that'd be a lot less confusing.
ya know?! not a steady relationship... just going on dates
and that kinna thing. i need to find "my type" and persue
guys w/out wasting time. so yea, whatever. more later. i've
gotta eat now!
~lyns~


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