my pathetic life
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2002-03-08 19:52:19 (UTC)


well todays been really slow. i woke up 2 the loud noise of
people building houses at like 8:30. i got up and decided
that i was going to clean my room. i put in my punk-o-rama
cd and cleaned, it was a party. my grandma who lives in
hawaii, sent me a package with all my favorite food that u
cant get on the mainland, so i had rice and hawaiian hot
dogs for lunch, it was yummy. i dont have school today so
all im gona do is sit on my ass all day, i got so bored
earlier that i played with my make up, rnt i just a loser?
well last nite was fun me and my bro made a new song. i
thought up this really cool intro, i was very proud of

last weekend i called one of my best friends up cuz i
havent talked 2 her in a couple months and i felt really
bad about it. we live in different states now and i dont
get 2 see her a lot but shes still my best friend and i
still woudl do anything for her. when i called her she
wasnt home. the next day one of my other friends that lives
in georgia tells me that my best friend hates me now. it
really hurt. then i find out from my other best friend that
she hates me cuz when i moved i was all depressed and that
for i while she also was extremly mad at me for that. i
dont really understand y some1 would b mad at me for being
depressed but i had no idea this hole time that they were
upset with me. now one of my best friends that i would do
anything for wont even talk 2 me and i dont really
understand y. it kills me, every time i think about i get
on the verge of crying. im not a sensitive girl so it hurts
2 think aboutthis all the time and just want 2 burst out in
tears. i hate feeling like this, i hate that i cant walk
over 2 her house and say that im so sorry for whatever ive
done. i just want her 2 talk to me. i hate feeling that i
have to put on a happy face when im around my friends up
here cuz they dont no her and our relationship and they
dont understand. y do i have 2 b a fucking bitch, y is it
so hard for me to be someones friend.i hate this, i hate it

"it sounds so ridiculous but i just cant lick this.i need a
miracle someone to help me, myself. someone to help myself"
-pedro the lion

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