The Sarchasm Chronicles
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Well, the marriage legally ended at 9:55 this morning.
The judge signed the papers and we left the courthouse.
There were a couple instances where the we thought we were
going to have to come back at a later date -- the judge we
were supposed to appear before wasn't there, and the
bailiff said we'd have to file for a continuance.
We went to see the Clerk, and she said it had been
reassigned for another judge at the same time in the
courtroom next door ~ whew.
When we checked in with the bailiff (in the next courtroom)
she said we needed to file an Addendum because our house had
been sold since the papers were originally filed. The
bailiff said the judge would wait for us to fill it out, So
we quickly filled out a new form and then had to take it to
the 4th floor to be notarized, then back to the courtroom
for the hearing.
The Judge comes out, looks over our paperwork and kind of
starts to bitch about somethings that weren't filled out --
the date of the hearing (which up until that second, we
weren't sure of... Hell! THEY weren't even sure of it! And
the fact that now we had filled out the Addendum (per THEIR
request) we had to write in the word "Addendum" everywhere
in the document (three pages) where the word "Separation
Agreement" appeared... on THREE COPIES.
The Judge also made some comment about "Where did they get
these forms?" (SYBIL bought a "legal document kit") and
with all the changes the Judge had mentioned, I figured
we'd be making another trip to the courthouse for certain.
Fortunately, she allowed us a half-hour to make the
necessary changes and would then recall our case.
The second time to the bench went much smoother.
SYBIL had left another area on the forms blank -- the place
where they ask if the Wife would like her maden name
restored. Without hesitation, she answered "Yes." That
kind of hurt.
The Judge asked SYBIL if she thought the agreement was
fair, were there any children, did she feel the property
had been fairly split, blah-blah-blah... and then the Judge
asked me the same stuff. I got a bit choked-up as I
listened to the questions being rattled off, and then
answered in the affirmative.
Poof. That was it.
No more marriage.
Eleven years cancelled out as if they had never existed.
What a waste.
Sybil didn't even want to grab a bite to eat afterward -- I
figured we could kind of "depressurize" after the ordeal.
She wasn't interested.
I then went to my car (that I foolishly parked in a lot
next to the courthouse) and had to pay $10.50 for parking
an hour and ten minutes! (DAMN!)
At least it's over.
PS: As the "take the high-road" kind of guy I've been
trying to act like, before I went to court this morning I
logged on a ordered a dozen red roses to be sent to Sybil
today ~ the card says:
Best Wishes for the Future
All my best to America's latest "single
white female." May your future be bright, and your
You will always be special to me.
With Love and Affection,