scarrin

the rollercoaster costs 5 dollars.
2002-03-08 02:35:41 (UTC)

Everyday is a winding road...

My journal entries lately have been really sparce...but
there's a lot to tell..

I'm getting really close to having myself completely
improved. I am really starting to feel better about myself
a whole lot lately. I went on my scuba trip and that
pretty much kinda kicked everything into high gear for me.
Soon I am going to start taking guitar lessons again and
I'm also starting to pay off all my debts...

Next week I have a meeting with Carol...it's going to be
my first big shot at being a stud with my company I
guess...lol...I think I'm actually going to work this
entire weekend so that I can come up with an excellent
presentation.

I also got a job offer from Randy today that would start
me off in Olympia, Washington. God damn. If I had the
money right now I would really want to go. And Randy
REALLY wants me there bad to work for him. I think my
parents would actually be ok with it too. I'm getting to a
point in my life that is CRUCIAL right now. I'm realizing
by the time I am 30 I could possibly not be in Denver. I
really don't think I will be in Denver..to tell you the
honest truth...if I get the chance at all to go to Europe,
I'm gone. Simple as that. If you told me tommorow that I
had the opportunity, I'd leave. Sell my car. Sell 1/2 of
everything I own. I'd do anything.

Life is really weird right now. I haven't felt
like "growing up" until the past month here. Something is
definitly changing with me and I know it. I can't even
explain it. I just feel responsible and I feel like I am
my own person. if you told me today that I would be a
single independant man for the rest of my life, I would
not even blink a worry about it. I think I'm finding
myself, and I think after all this time of being alone and
not having a serious girlfriend, I'm starting to do things
for Scott. It's making a difference. I feel like
everything but me just slows me down. I don't know how to
explain it. I want to get married eventually and all that,
but I just am not even thinking about it right now. Very
strange and unreal....I've never felt like this in my
life..but it feels good....

I need to start writing again...and not just journals..




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