just another day at the patch
Okay so I have been thinking about this whole thing almost
to the point of obsessing over it. At which point do
thoughts become obsessions? Is there a certain amount of
times an hour that you can think about someone or something
and it not be an obsession?
I have just become so fed up with the way that I act toward
others. I think that I am trying to be funny and sarcastic
when in reality I am just trying to keep my distance.
It is amazing what you will do out of fear. And all the
same I realize the things that I do are mostly done because
I fear that something actually good will happen to me. I
once told one of my friends that I wouldn't know a good
thing if it came up and bit me in the ass. Well I don't
know if that is necessarily true. The fact is that I would
run as fast as I could in the other direction that it would
not have a chance to get anywhere close to my ass.
This guy just won't get out of my head. And you know what,
the more frustrated I become with each day thinking about
him. I am afraid of my own feelings toward him. How funny
is it that I am scared of what I am going to say and feel
everytime I see him that I do the "funny" and "sarcastic"
I just want to know how a person can have these thoughts. I
swear that my brain makes no sense. Who told me that I can
read this much into all of my thoughts and spend countless
hours analyzing them?