*sigh* I'm tired and sad lately.
Got really bad food poisoning dis weekend and i couldn't
even stand up. I threw up about 4 times and i havent eaten
in 3 days.I'm much betta now. Still cant eat though incase
i barf. Mah parents wont bring me to the hospital becuz our
insurance ended or something.
Me and some of my friendz myte go to da Ja Rule concert on
April. Now all i need ish an excuse to get away from home.
My parents r racist against blacks too.
I'm depressed. We have a big dance comin up for 8th graders
and everybody ish makin it required that u have a date. I
wouldn't go but its durin skoo hours and i wouldn't pass up
da chance to laugh at da sevies and sixth graders dat dey
have skoo and we dun. Anyhoo mah mom wouldn't let me miss
skoo. Everybody ish taken. And i dun wanna have a date.
mean bastard jocks and ugly and retarded ppl. I would
probably just go and sit outside. Anywayz i dun wanna dance
with anyone else besides J... god I miss her. I hear and
see her name everywhere.
my friends :" oh! really? dun worry it must be a sign-"
me:" yea, sign....DAT I'M GOING NUCKING FUTZ!"
my friends:" u mean fuckin nutz"
me:"nononono. Nucking Futz"
my friends:" wha??"
Yep yep. I've officially gone insane. I was all mindin my
own business at Sosical studies tyme silent class reading
of chapter 12. yep yep i was happily skimming along the
pages pretending i was reading den doosh! JAYS TREATY.
yea. Den i was walking in da hall minding my own business
den someone shouts "J!!" arrgggg... den my teacher made us
read dis stupid story some kids from last year wrote and
haha funny huh? da main characters name ish J.
My friends all are telling and annoying me to just forget
about her.I cant though. I dunno why. I just cant. I want
her. I miss her. I love her. I cant admit it but i think of
her everynight i go to sleep. A few tymes I cried myself to
sleep.arent i one saaaaddddddd weirdo? I bet none of my
friends act dis way bout dere bf's... hmmm..well
considering dey dump dere bf's a week later after makin out
wit dem and usin dere money... I wonder if they acted the
way I did after their first love.I still have all of J's
letters under mah pillow. haha dat soudns weird huh? well I
guess I cant forget her. And i cant forgive myself. If it
werent for me, her first love myte be a person living near
her and can walk up to her and tell her how much they love
her without stuttering.And she wouldn't be missing a person
she's never seen or met. I guess its my fault for e-mailin
her in the first place. I still remember dat tyme.haha i
was such a dork now to think about it.imma major dork. okay
i'm really depressed ryte now. I miss her... and i dun
think dis song ish doin me anygood either...neither is da
bunch of pills i took.I dun even now what type of drug dey
r and i took 3.haha got it half price.10$ each. yep yep.
lil green and blue pills. Its not doin as much as da ones i
took da week befo. Imma try injecting some drugs.yea dat
will do... hopefully i'll pass out again and never wake
up. baibaiz now.