Queen Bee

2002-03-06 01:13:03 (UTC)

Maybe i dont wanna...

I realized a few things the past couple of days, that
maybe i dont want to talk to my ex about all of this. I
mean i do cuz i want our "relationship" to work but then
again if i talk to hima nd we do work it out, then what if
i get hurt again? what if it ends up in tears? then what,
it;ll be all that work for nothing, then thats just me
wasting my time and i know if i want a relationship like
raven and her b/f, then i'll have to work but i just have
tis feeling that it'll end up in heartache again. then its
just hours out of my time for freakin nothing. and im only
17 and he is only 16 so i know that chance are me and him
arent gonna end up getting married or any thing to serious
but i know if i do it'll be so worth the time i spent on
the "relationship" i just dont know what i want to do. And
plus it always seems like im always doing all the work for
my damn relationships and im tired of it, cuz if he doesnt
work at the relationship, then maybe he doesnt want our
relationship to work. I really dunno cuz he wont tell me
how he feels and if he did i could tell him how i feel.I
know i keep saying that but it just kinda pisses me off.
Today me and my ex did have a good day. we just kinda hung
out in hi room along with raven and her boy. we just
flirted and had fun, although raves and boy (her b/f) keep
trying to convince me and him to quit being sdumb and
talking to each other and for the record pressuring wont do
any good. But whatever i know im jsut being chicken but i
care about him a lot and i dont wanna fuck it up although
im not quite sure what i want to do quite yet. Oh lordy why
does it have to be so complicated?

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