This is the beloved air I breathe
2002-03-05 22:49:39 (UTC)

Let go and let God

Have you ever heard that phrase before?
I have heard it in many contexts, but it has not been
until recently that I have truly thought to sit down and
apply it to my life.

There is this thing that happens when we try to take
control of our own lives. I'm sure that I have talked
about it in many of my other entries, maybe even
inadvertadely (I appologise now for ALL spelling and typo
Remember my last entry where I was talking about how I
beginning to get so much more frustrated because of the
way that things were going with this boy? (I really
should give him a name soon, huh? LOL ) well, it was
because I was thinking about it so much, I was imagining
the future, pondering and all that. My friend and I were
staying up untill all hours of the night just talking
about it. It's not bad to thing about these things and
it's certianly not bad to talk about them with friends,
but when we start talking about them so much with each
other that we begin to stop talking about them with
God...that's when it begins to get unhealthy.
So last week was a week of total frustration and
aggitation for me.
I was with "him" on monday night and today and something
totally cool has begun to happen. All the fake stuff is
gone again and I am able to focus on the total substance
of our friendship. I do believe that we will be together
sometime. there are too many things that fit together for
it all not to work out sometime. But that time doesn't
have to be now, and as I am able to accept that, I have
peace and we will grow in our friendship and true
knowledge of each other in a real way.
I came back last night feeling so much peace.
All this time last week I would have been analyzing every
little thing he said to me, but now I have just been able
to appreciate it and take it in. Accepting it for what it
is. Lots of times guys just say things...there is no
hidden meaning :).
So, I have let go and allowed God the reigns of my
relationship with this person. I trust God. And I have
my total fulfillment and peace. I'm thankful that God
loves me enough to make me wait for the things I don't
necessarilly need. This is charachter building.
I am learning obediance. I do not serve God because He
gives me what I want. I serve God because He is soverign
and He always provides what I NEED. Even a husband.



yeah, so I'd really like feedback. Agree,
people actually read this thing :)?