natasha

Memories to be cherished...
2002-03-05 20:42:14 (UTC)

Blunder in history..!!

Yesterday night I had a good conversation with my "someone
special" who used to be my everything years ago (to a
certain extent is still my everything) and we both cleared
out a lot of things that we both had in mind and had to
talk about it. Now I feel really relieved and that hurt is
gone, not completely, but its comparatively less.

I always used to think that he had used me as a tissue
paper. Used it and disposed me cos I was of no use to him
anymore. But when he explained it to me yesterday night, I
really think that what he did was really right and I would
not have understood the same thing then cos I was so madly
in love with him that I could not see anyone beyond him. My
world started with him and ended with him. Nothing mattered
when it came to him. I would have fought with my parents
for him. I sure would have then but today, I dont have that
strength to do so for anyone.

I have been hurt so much in the past, now I am scared of
everything and anyone that stops by my life. I feel
insecure about everything these days. Life is not fair I
feel. We never get what we want in life. We are never given
choices and even if we are given a choice we DONT have a
choice. We are forced to do something which we are
completely against. Be it studies, be it a job, be it
marriage..anything!!

Ah well, never mind. Things in life can be beautiful only
and only if you try and at this point of time I am not
trying hard enough and I know about it too well. But I am
just happy with the way things are going and I think it is
better that I live it the way it is. Live and let live
should be my slogan. All I need today is a little peace to
myself. Need to take some time out for myself and think
about my own future which is again not going to be my final
decision.

Like always, I again messed up my history presentation. Why
do we have to do presentations in the first place? Ah well,
I guess it is required for me to gain those 3 credits and I
have to do well this time. This lady has a lot of hopes on
a particular group of students and unfortunately I fall
among them :s

I hurt myself today while playing badminton :s I fell
really bad and hurt my hand. Nothing serious though, just a
few bruise on my hand. Will get better. I have to go for
college in the morning. Will have to sit with Sam and clear
out my doubt about my final project. I want to get this
done well before time which we all lack today. I am not
working at present but I still think I dont have enough
time. Its good that I didnt take my old job once again. I
would have probably killed myself with job and work and
everything else on my head :s

I am done with today, need to get some sleep cos I have to
get up early tomorrow.

Adios..Chow...Good Night...

Natasha..




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