décédé

Product of a Broken Home
2002-03-05 01:52:48 (UTC)

coffee shops and bus rides

i went out to st.albert on saturday, megan and her friend
sean were playing at a coffee house. it was actually very
very good. i got to see megan, and gabby, and such ppl
again. we just talked, joked around, made fun of eachother,
it was nice.

sometimes i consider moving out there just so i can see
them more often. but then again, i like it here in
edmonton. well, thats only if you ignore the part of me
that wants to run away from it, which is a rather large
part.

and then there's today. hectic, tiring, depressing, and
quite elevating actually.

i didn't sleep at all last night, so today was a bit of a
blur. i went to school, cleaned the paint off my suitcase,
then sat around. went bowling first block, read The Tenth
Insight. got back to school went through the motions of
math and ta.

i was actually quite giddy at lunch, teased nettik
continually, and i may have gone a bit too far.

my hands have been shaking all day, i can't hold anything
for more than a minute without my hand shaking, badly.

i had a laughing fit, it felt very scary from the inside.
like i was watching myself. the laugh sounded mechanical,
high pitched, unnatural.

i went home, made aaron take the bus with me to northgate,
and at kingsway chris got on. i could barely look at him,
and he made a point of ignoring me. he got off, it was
rather uneventful.

got to northgate, talked with aaron a bit, nothing too
serious. he wennt home.

i got on the bus and ended up talking to an old friend. i
think for a brief 15 minutes i completely forgot all the
bullshit going on in my life. i'm going to a movie with him
later, maybe i'll get lucky and forget again.

~jesykA