a_fire_inside

ViCtiM oF ReaLiTY
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2002-03-05 00:22:27 (UTC)

Losing My good Friends

Hey, ummmm.... it seems like a lot of stuff has been
going on lately. This girl at my school named Brittany
Rogers died on Saturday last weekend, on March 2nd. She
was really sick and they knew she wasnt going to get better
so, ya. Well, Rafaela and Kat knew her (In drama together)
so they seemed all depressed. I didnt really know her. i
think she was a senior.

well, this weekend was alright. Friday
Melanie and her friend Krista came out from Cali and we
went and ate at P.F. Chang's. Then Saturday me and Chris
went to Rafaela's, but right before we got there, she got
the call about Brittany, so she was all sad. But we
cheered her up and just hung out. Then for awhile she
started talking on the phone and me and Chris went and
started to watch Jurassic Park 3. But then we started
making out, and he was like "i want u so bad right now."
so we told Rafaela that we were going to my house to get
some Vodka. But really we just went and had sex. But
Chris felt really bad cuz he came and he was like "im sorry
it isnt better for u." cuz he came too fast and he got off
on it more than me,.. i guess. so then we went to
the park and chilled.

Then Sunday we tried to get Flogging Molly tickets,
but we couldnt. oh, and i dyed my hair Chocolate Cherry,
but it didnt turn out right. its just kinda
redish/brown. Then today, everyone seemed all depressed at
school, and i realized something. Me and Paulina are
slowly drifting farther apart. I mean, i just never really
see or talk to her that much anymore, and its making me
really sad. She's my best friend, and if i lose her, i
dont know what ill do. The other day, i asked her to
come hang out with us, but she said no, so i was like "come
on! this is our time to hang out!were best friends!"
and she was like "ya, thats what i thought....."

and then today, she gave me a picture that her and
her 'new best friend' Jenifer took over the weekend, and on
the back she wrote
"Thnx for always being there when
i needed you even though lately we've been getting farther
apart & we dont really kick it anymore, but its kewl..."

and when i read it, i just looked at her, and i
was like 'no, paulina. its not cool.' and then we
just kinda went out seperate wayz. I guess
that things just have to change for certain reasons, and
you cant really do much about it. But i used to like how
things were, and when 'it was all good' as Paulina would
say.

Every time me and Rafaela talk about last year
and how it used to be when we all hung out, she just looks
at me with these sad eyes and says " I just want things to
be the way they used to be." and then i think
about it, and in a way she's right. WE all used to
trust eachother, we never kept secrets, and we all got
along soooooo good. But now its all
different. Things seem to be going down hill, and i
feel right in the middle of it. Gawd, this sux.


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