mel

Dear Diary sorry i have not..

Dear Diary

sorry i have not written in a while. i am kinda depressed
and well just felt like ignoring everything. been so angry,
my yoga meditation does not calm me like i wish it would.
perhaps my mind is just weak. í'm struggling with
everything, feel as if i'm being punished or somethins. oh,
and i really miss g sometimes. i mean whats wrong with me,
why the hell do i have this guy in my head like this. damn
him, wonder if he ever things about me like this. work was
also the pits, not to mention i got paid late this month.
but that was the banks fault. geez look at me, just
complaining. okay i should try to stop, but hey this is my
place to vent. sometimes i get so sad, i wish i would just
roll over a die, instead i play dead, in my head. i feel as
if i wernt around other peoples life would be better and i
wont be causing them any grief. and i won't need anyone
either. but thats not all the time. sometimes i feel really
great. like when i hear a song i like, or i laugh at
something stupid, or i see a beautiful sunrise or sunset,
or when i go shopping, or when i help someone out with
something, or when g calls, ha ha just had to put that one
in. gosh i'm a mad woman. anyway some say things can only
get better, lets hope so :(