newblinktrio

Saving the Day
2002-03-03 23:16:44 (UTC)

Im just a sucker with low self esteem....

whooie..this weekend was quite an interesting one. friday,
the snow came and i was so tired that i just slept (that
and the fact that my parents wouldnt let me out) then i got
the call that there was no contest for us...and that was
some top notch news....gave me a whole free day. i had
planned on doing my research paper....and i started taking
notes but didnt have that heart to finish it so i just
tinkered around trying to make a weird skirt. finally i
braved the weather and went to jenny's party. it was a lot
of fun and with some people that i really missed hanging
out with. i love my new friends dearly and i want to keep
them all around me...a different friend for every occaison
i suppose. i just dont want to abandon them like i know im
capable of. AND i dont want to use other ones like some
people think i am. we all know i would never try and use
someone...the thought of that makes me ill worrying about
it. so many things have been on my mind. i just feel like i
drag people down and really am not contributing to the
greater good of society. i try, but everytime i set out to
do something right it comes crashing down. what do i do?
give up trying, and not expecting anything because my
expectations are never met? or do i keep blindly trudging
forward setting myself up for greater failure? im just too
selfish. what people have said about me is true, i guess i
do use people, and even though i dont mean it, i obviously
have and i can't reverse it. im sorry if thats the way they
felt. i just hope those people that i hurt are happy now
without me and my dragging presence. im sorry for all i did
without knowing, i was stupid. but i guess we'll never get
past that. anyway..im out
-stephanie




Ad: