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I dont know what else to say right now but aaah. I went to
Matt's house and every single moment of the entire day was
just so amazing. I'm not even going to describe the day
because it was just so aah. I love him so much I dont even
know if he realizes the affect that he has on me seriously.
At his house..well we both kinda endulged in some..firsts
for both of us and I was scared that like after doing that,
that we would be kinda awkward around eachother or
something but we werent. We were just like we always
were...joking around and being like we always are. It was
so awesome. And then we were laying there looking into
eachothers eyes and we said everything we were feeling to
eachother without saying a word. But I feel like in a way I
have been cheating him out of something. Ya see things at
my house have been getting worse and worse and yea its
gotten really bad for me...but I dont tell him aobut ne of
it because I dont want him to have to deal with his
problems as well as the pain that I am feeling. I am trying
so hard to hide from him that I am hurting..but I dont know
how well I am doing it. I dont know I guess I just love him
so much I dont want him to know what I am going through.
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