Meshed Up
2002-03-03 12:33:19 (UTC)

in preparation for family

for such a ..erm.. beautiful day..i feel kinda weird and
disoriented. my entire family's here in melbourne now.. and
i'm sad. very sad. i don't have the whole apartment to
myself anymore! =(

it sounds shallow doesn't it? know how i
can't stand my parents in particular. i don't
hate them. i just ... don't like them.

before my entire family arrived and destroyed my quest for
solitude, i packed the following things up and asked a
trusted friend to keep them for me:

1. all my diaries (my friggin mum has a very irritating
tendency of reading my diaries and what's worse is that she
tells the whole church back in my home country about what
she read!! talk about privacy!)

2. the ring that nelson gave me (one time, dad saw me
wearing that ring and he got very upset about it to the
point that he actually told me that he would not give me my
inheritance if i married nelson. who cares? i don't need
their money...and besides, the law protects my inheritance.
they have to give it to me whether they like it or not!)

3. nelson's jerseys (they used to be in my luggage, along
with my other clothes of course. one day, mum like her
usual nosy self, went through my luggage, folded all of my
clothes up, but left nelson's jerseys all crumpled up in
one corner of the luggage. sigh...)

4. photo albums (i have pictures of me with nelson and his
wonderful family. don't want my parents to see those
pictures. they might get heart attacks and throw themselves
off the balcony. oh crap i should've just kept the pictures
here for them to see!)

5. my favorite fcuk shirt (mum and dad are CHRISTIANS and
so they wouldn't want to see anything with curse words
written in it. well..not like fcuk is a curse word..but you
know how CHRISTIANS are. they think they're all holy. don't
get me wrong, i'm christian..but i don't think i'm all
holy. no way. not at all.)

that's about it i think. also in preparation for family, i
tried to tell my mind to just ignore every little annoying
thing that they do. but of course it didn't work. my mind's
too alive..too active..too stubborn to listen to what i
tell it to do. i knew it. after two minutes of them
stepping into my apartment, i felt like ripping their heads

and so i will suffer three weeks of absolute torture. i'm
happy my little sister and my little brother are here..but
i'm not happy at all that my parents are here..and so is my
older sister. augh! after they go back to our country, my
older sister is staying here with me. sigh... so sad. i
would rather be alone and live my life. i want my solitude
back. i want my solitude back!

i'm trying to finish my psychology essay on gifted
children.. but i can't! because my mind's a mess partly
from lack of sleep and partly because of my parents. i'm
hungry too. i lose my appetite whenever i eat with them. i
gained 18 pounds when i got here last year, and then when i
went home (and lived under the same roof as they are
again), i lost 10 pounds. wow hehe. now i'm controlling my
food intake..don't wanna get all piggy. yeah yeah, the
usual rants of a girl.

but anyway, somebody tell me something? it's okay to
dislike a person...but why is it not okay if the person you
dislike is family? is it because they're family? and how is
it possible to love someone and yet not like them at all?
like parents! i love my parents but i don't like them.

my thoughts are flying now...from psychology to philosophy
to the fourth dimension. i'll talk about the fourth
dimension next time. i don't really know much about it..
but i will do write down what i know. to all wiccans out
there..i'm sure you guys know about this 4D thing.

till here then. it's almost midnight and tomorrow's a
monday (noooo!!) . sigh... i better finish my psych
essay... wish me luck. may god keep me safe tonight.