2002-03-03 06:20:17 (UTC)


*JOCELYN*.....MISS *J* IF YOU'RE NASTY!!!! Howdie! Well, my
birthday turned out all right. I didn't do anything too
extreme, like some do when they turn 18. I went out to eat
with family and got a few cards from friends. I was kinda
low-key with mine this year because I didn't want people
telling me happy b-day just because they felt they had to.
Most people don't want your b-day to be happy.....you know!
Well, yesterday.....Daryl and Kevin came up here. We met
them in Macon. We went to the movies and saw JOHN Q. Man,
that was an awesome movie. I will definitely rent that when
it comes out on video. It will bring tears to everyone's
eyes....even dudes. Anyway, after the movie they rode to
the Ville with us. We took them to the little spot. Me and
Daryl just talked and tripped out. I like him and
everything, but you know me. But I think he will be one
those types that I end up being friends with for a long
time....like my friend Aaron in Macon. We wanted them to
stay over nite, but they went ahead and rode back home. It
was cool. It was something to do. I think we will hang out
with them later in the future. Other than that, things have
been boring. The weather kind of messed up everything for
me. Now that I think about it, being 18 doesn't change too
much of anything. I don't want to smoke, so I won't be
buying cigs. I can get into clubs without the whole
worrying about being shamed in front of people because I
was too young, but I definitely don't want to go to any
clubs around this area. I'm not sure how it is in Mactown,
but I can only see myself going to those A-T-L clubs. As
far as my curfew.....I don't have a reason to be out no
later than 2-something. And even if I did have
something....I don't plan to be the only thing open at that
time of nite! So from my observations so far.....18 is just
a number.....it's just another year that I've gained. I
can't turn back the hands of time. Although being 18 means
you have to act as an adult, I'm still gonna be goofy me.
I'm mature enough as it is for my age....I feel. I say the
only thing that I feel I should be able to do by this age
is express myself more freely w/ emotions towards
people....well, boys to be specific. I wish I could just
speak. I wish my days of emails, letters, and cards would
just disappear. I want to be able to tell him to his face.
But hey, maybe I'm incapable of that because my heart has
never really felt anything for anyone.....it was just my
mind that fooled me to believe that I did. So maybe I'm not
doing anything wrong. I'm being true to my heart. There's
been only one time that I've expressed myself, and that was
when I told someone I loved him. I honestly did. Now when I
can't say anything in return, it's because I don't feel
anything at all. Complicated theory. I'm kind of sleepy, so
maybe I'm just talking off top.