Mithrander

My First Diary
2002-03-02 13:41:38 (UTC)

My very first post

This is the very first post in my diary. Isn't it exciting?
I have never had a diary before, as it was strictly
forbidden in my household. My parents believed that writing
in a diary opened my mind to the spirits, and in my lowered
resolve they would take control of my limbs and mind,
causing me to be some kind of robot killer (only human) How
foolish they were. Today is the start of a brand new era. I
am reminded of a poem from the genius poet Macavelloolo, a
South African who lived in the early 1900's. It went,

Bloop bloop and the sun
came up and then
it went down
and the day was done

But I go on.


So true!! I feel like the sun has set and risen so many
times yet I am only now "going on." I have a bottle full of
pills on the counter and neither the will to take them or
hurl myself from the window clutching them in my hand. This
is a sign of things to come I think. If I poison myself and
then jump in front of a car, what killed me? Oh the
questions that plague the troubled mind of a recluse. I go
to bed now. Tomorrow I will write about my dreams. They
have been odd and disturbing lately, I need to know the
answers. The answers.

The answers.




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