The Eye Into My Soul
2002-03-02 06:21:33 (UTC)


I am thuroughly enjoying myself being with Travis. He is so
much fun and I really like him. We were supposed to go out
tonight on our first "real" date but he called me this
morning and cancelled because his best friend from high
school(and old roommate)'s mom dies yesterday. He had to go
to his home-town for the wake and funeral. I am so sorry
that he has to deal with this right now because he has been
so busy with school work and his job... besides a death is
never an easy thing to deal with.

I was very irratable earlier because I was so looking
forward to our spending the evening together. We have been
doing stuff together for the last week and a half but we as
of yet haven't been out on a "real" date and I was so
looking forward to it. We have been dating since last
Wednesday but we haven't kissed yet although I've wanted
to. He hasn't had a girlfriend before me and I worry a
little bit about scaring him... I want him to feel
comfortable before we do anything.

This is such an odd thing (which I am going to tell him...
eventually) but he is always ready to stop hugging before I
am (when he leaves at night) and he hugs me like he's
afraid that I am going to break... I want to be squeezed

I can't wait till he gets back on Sunday. It's so odd how
much I miss him and he's only been gone for one day. I
never really thought about being like this with another
person. I'm pretty much confused as to what I am thinking
most of the time but it is getting harder to understand now
that I have added another person into the mix. I suppose
that it will get easier after a while... at least I hope
so. I can at least partially understand how Dirty is
feeling about being away from Lara (although I can't
understand anything else about their relationship... it's
so messed up).

Well, I must go for now as my eyes are starting to hurt
from looking at the computer screen when I am tired.