2002-03-02 04:32:25 (UTC)

Why didn't you let me know?

Today was an odd day. I get to school, and reach my locker
just as the 5 minute bell rings. I didn't know what had
happened right by my locker until Division. I went on
regularly with my classes up to that point, (hoping for the
best.) Well I forgot the beginning of that phrase. It was
expect the worst.

Here's what happened. I walked into division kinda curious
what had happened to Eric since he wasn't in 2nd period. My
friends, Kathy and Tim, went up to Eric about 10 minutes
till 8:00, they asked him what's up. He looked very pissed.
He told them that he is pissed off. Then he banged his head
on his locker. It was loud, they told me. Like a really big
bang. I mean you wouldn't wanna even put your fist to your
locker like that. Their jaws dropped. He later sat down by
his locker and just collapsed. They asked him if he's okay,
but he didn't answer. So they picked him up and were
dragging, and carrying him off. Our old division teacher
was walking by and she asked what happened, they told her,
and she told them to bring him in her room. They did. Later
he was a little more conscious. They tried to have him
talking, so they were talking about this and that. Later
Mr. Savoy showed up, he started asking him obvious
questions and he got kinda pissed since they were just
obvious questions, that make no difference if asked or not.
They were later told to leave, although they wanted to
stay. When my friend Kathy came late for her 1st period,
her teacher started bitching at her. She told her that she
was late cause she was helping her friend and such. She
told her that she shouldn't have, and that she should have
been there on time. That was just idiotic. And she told me
she was saying this with an attitude. Later she said to
her: You hear that ambulance? My friend is in there, so
sorry I couldn't come to class on time! She said back to
Kathy just not to do it again. Kathy thought, yeah like one
of my friends faints everyday.

But anyway, back to Eric. My friend Alina, Michelle and I
are all from the same division, and we have lunch together.
Also with this other chick Alina, she's cool. We went to
Ms. Ray, our old division teacher if she knew anything more
about Eric. She told us no. She asked us if we knew if he
was doing some drugs. Cause that's what the word was. That
he was sniffing something, so he collapsed. I really doubt
it. He would never have sex, he took a vow, and he would
never do drugs. Even when we joke about it in division,
he's always saying no, I would never, no I couldn't. He
doesn't. I heard that he said it himself, that he overdosed
on robotussin. He wouldn't. We think he's covering up for
something he did. And if he would cover it up with drugs,
then it must be really bad. My friend told me it might have
to do with his parents, and now he's prabobly gonna go for
some psychiatric treatment.

God I hope he's okay. Our division teacher was almost
crying when she was talking about it. I hope everything
will be okay. We go the name and number for the hospital
he's in, but I forgot what it was. (Well I forgot one
number) Now that Mountain Dew commercial is pissing me off.
You know the one where the guy beats his head with the ram
for the Dew. That keeps reminding me of him.

I hope there is no permanent damage done. Or that he
doesn't end up like me. I mean, he is so sweet, so nice,
and unlike any guy I've ever known. I don't know he was
capable of this. Well no actually I forgot he was. He coats
up his life all the time. It's just always hard to tell. I
didn't come to school yesterday but I think I should have
now. I mean, he looked tired on Wednesday, and this one kid
that he knows even said that he looked high. I started
singing the song, but I didn't know if it affected him, or
in what way. I think he can trust me, I just don't know how
and why. I mean he did tell me about a different incident.
I couldn't believe it though. It's not exactly something
you know how to react to. I don't know, I'm just kinda
pissed off, sad but mainly angry, now that I wrote this. I
guess I really don't wanna talk about it. I just wanna make
sure he is alright and get life on with. I hope he'll be
okay. Maybe he just needed a hug, or someone to talk to. I
wish I would have been there when it happened. I don't know
what to do when he comes back. I know I'm not gonna ask if
he's okay, cause I know how annoying that can get. I just
want him to be better. I just wanna be his friend, and let
him tell me what is wrong, and what is right. I always
liked listening to all the things he had to say. Even when
most of the times I didn't get them. I just didn't want
this to happen. Not to him. I wish I could have been closer
to him, so that I could have prevented it.