artistic vent!
2001-05-06 03:41:13 (UTC)

why does loneliness only come out at night??

Have you ever had one of those days when everything goes
perfect, nothing is wrong...yet when the night comes, you
get depressed...well i'm here, and i don't know why. My
birthday is in 4 days or something, nothing is wrong in my
life, and i'm depressed...The more i think about it the
more i start to think the reason i'm depressed is because
everything is great...but i have nobody to share it with.
Why is it during the whole day your fine, nothing can get
you down, and then when you get home and you sit down in
your room, out of all the cd's you have all you want to
listen to is something sad, or blues my case Ray
charles...i then i sit, and wallow in the fact that i'm
depressed....just sitting and wishing something would
happen...A good friend would call and just want to go
talk...thats all i need to do is talk..i have friends and
roommates right outside my door, but there drinking and
playing some drinking don't get me wrong i love
a good drink, anytime, but for some reason i hate the way
they get drunk, with there drinking games, and "chug, chug,
chug" it seems so young, so novice to drinking, i just want
a nice calm martini, or a gin and tonic, drinking games
seem so young...and i'm only twenty, i don't clame to be
old or anything, but for some reason half of the people i
know my age seem ten years younger than me, most of my
friends are older, i dont' claim to be more mature, i just
have a more grown up taste in most things, i enjoy the
sweet things in life, the jazzy intelligent things, a nice
live jazz band, a good drink, and a warm hand to hold
mine...and this is why i think i'm depressed even though
everything is great, i have no one to share this with, in
the way i like to do things...oh, well what can i
do....i'll just sitt here and listen to big band saturday
night on the radio, and enjoy my health, and my great life.
Its just getting lonely out here in my jazzy world, that
seems to only have me as president and me as a citizen,
someday i'll find someone to come and join me in my world,
then the world will be world anyways......-