mental illness, yes it is real..

Why me ??

Well, i was lookin really good as a prospect for a new
dispatcher for the Mt. Holyoke College, but job would only
pay $12.00/hr, and I am making $14.87/hr now. I am not
taking job even though it did have great benefits cause of
the pay difference. Lisa is upset cause she thinks that the
benefits outway the pay difference, but we are barely makin
ends meet now, i cant see in my mind how we would do it if
i took a nearly $3.00/hr pay cut. I feel that I am worth at
least $15.00/hr, and I want to make sure kids dont get
short end of stick. I have to keep lookin out for child
support as well, i cant just take a cut in pay and say
whatever to the child support. I need to make sure we have
enough for bills, Taxes need to be paid, Jon still needs to
get his $290, car needs tuneup ,inspection, parking light
to be replaced, then there is jon's b-day, then mike's b-
day, we need more money than we got, and i am only one that
can see this. I feel totally like shit now, guts are
wrenching, head is spinning, and I am gettin no help at
all. I am trying my best to make this work , but all i keep
seeing is $$$ going out window, none staying here to cover
expenses.... well, i guess that is it for now, maybe I will
write more from work tonight.
---- caio !