All Fucked Up
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2002-03-01 06:46:51 (UTC)

The Death of the Elephant Ear

He was the strangest motherfucker you'd ever meet and he
was only ten-- my attention deficit disordered cousin,
Rocket from Calico, California, the most deserted and
haunted ghost town in the state. Being from Calico was ever
apparent in his demeanor-- whispy thin features, the palest
of skin and an equally as spooky attitude that only
lightened while in my presence-- Gawd knows why-- I was
just as insane as he in his weather beaten dungarees and
that pewter sherrif's badge he'd wear for fun...certainly
no angel

No one knew that he had decided to spend that summer in Los
Angeles-- not even our grandparent's, whose place he had
decided to crash out for those 12 weeks of insanity. We
probably wouldn't have crossed eachother's path but I just
happened to be staying the week there when he showed up
unanticipated like a bicycle on the 101. "Here I am" he
announced mischiveously at the door w/an eerie glint in his
eyes and the most insane smile you'd ever see...all while
clenching tightly to a single canvas duffle...military issue

Everyone saw him and instantly thought "the devil." "You're
fuckin' dirty!" my grandather barked, "Take a shower!!"--
all this in leu of a "hey there, sport!" In defiance, we
walked into the backyard to kill time when he spotted an
axe lying carelessly in the avacado grove in which a single
elephant ear stood meekly but beautifully in the middle.
Lacking the slightest bit of hesitance, Rocket advanced
toward it hurriedly and whacked it down w/a single snap of
the wrist. "Tee-hee-hee." An equally insane laughter to fit
the attitude. Myself, watching it all in amazement,
couldn't help but laugh as well

"Rock!!!" Grandma had watched the whole scenario from the
kitchen window and was uteerly upset. "I've been growing
that for over a year and it has barely bloomed!!!! I don't
believe this!!!" He turned his head slightly toward me. Our
body language said it all-- "this is fuckin' hilarious"

That night grandma had cooked the old dude a fairly
expensive New York chuck-bone steak that he had been
bitching for the whole day through. As she placed it at his
side of the table she walked away saying, "I'm going to get
something from my room. I'll be right back." This small
interlude was the perfect reason for Rocket to rush up to
the steak w/a salt shaker and poor the contents all over
the it w/his trademark bad-boy smile. A minute later
grandma came back and had a heart attack...and died. The

"Everyone thinks they know me, but they don't"-- Andrew