Corruption in all its beautiful forms..
2002-02-28 23:23:08 (UTC)

Im my own worst enemy

Ok, i just said something really insensitive to a person i
love, i told him that the only reason i got involved with
him in the first place was because i was high. I mean its
true i did only get sexually involved b/c i was high, i
didnt want to with anyone, i didnt want a relationship or
sex, i was still in love with dan, and i felt guilty for
some reason for thinking of anyone but him. I love Josh
now, and im glad i got involved with him, he's so sweet. I
keep on saying stupid shit to him, and i feel really bad, i
guess im trying to push him away, im fighting myself,
sometimes i want to end it, just b/c im afraid of hurt, but
i know, its worth it. Im so confused. My mom's being a
bitch lately and her bf is a royal dick and i may smother
him in his sleep, i may do something stupid in the middle
of the night one of these days, they make me so miserable.
Im scared of myself, especially like that. Ill ruin my life
even more than i already have, which is alot. ALOT. but really high right now,so some of this may not
make sense. Im a fucking pothead...dude...well my left arm
is going numb, so this is it.

Mood-self loathing, noxious, high, sorry
Song-Please dont hate me by ICP