my crazy life, check it out...
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2001-05-05 02:57:32 (UTC)

my life sucks @*^

Hey, it's me again. I haven't had thee best day. God it
sucks because Tim and I always fight over stupid shit that
we cannot settle. Like, he said that we shouldn't go to my
prom cuz we went to his and blah blah blah, and he has
drill practice sat. and sun morning. But he said after
drill sat. he wants to hang out with Shameeka(never met
her?) But he says she doesn't have a prom date and she was
sad and asked him to go. I was kind of upset. He kind of
knew I wanted to go to mine. I just think he thought I
wanted to totally blow off my prom, but I didn't. We
barely stayed that long for his! But Tim got upset with me
on the phone because he says I don't let him see his
friends. See, he works on the weekdays till 11:30 at night,
and doesn't get to hang with his friends, and on the
weekends is the only time to see me, so he tries to vary
his time with me too, with the time with his friends. I
don't get mad at him if he wants to see his friends, I just
love to actually see him once in a while.I guess I just use
that tone of voice of jealousy. Cuz I am jealous. He gets
to hang out with his friends, while I go to work in the
morning and get off and have nothing to do but laze around
the house. I felt so alone today. I just realized that I
have noone to turn to. I have nothing to do tomorrow after
work. Everyone is going to prom, Tasha is going to cedar
point, my sister is probably partying, and amy is w/ the
baby and chad all the time. I have nothing or noone! I feel
like I have lost everyone. Even if I had time to spend with
my friends, like tim says I should do, there is noone to
hang out with. They are all too busy for me. I think since
he sees me working hours to where I can do something after
work, he thinks I spend it with my friends. well, hell no i
don't. I go and actually do something by myself. How
pathetic is that? very much pathetic. I try to simply
explain to him that I use my sarcasm and whiney voice with
him because i don't have anyone to turn to like him. I know
he has overcame hardships throughout his friendships too,
but he can actually turn to people and hang out. I don't
know? all I know is tomorrow is going to be another day of
boredom AGAIN! All I wanna do is go shopping with someone,
take a drive with someone, get out of the damn house. But I
cannot do that. I sit around and get fat after work. No
wonder I have gained like 5 or 10 pounds. which I need to
lose! oh well, I doubt anyone on here really cares about
what I have to say anyways. I try to feed people comments
on their life stories and tell them they are brave and etc.
But see, it all goes back to feeling alone again, in that
situation. Not even the people on here like me or have
interest in me. :( well, I will w/b about my pathetic
little life later. c-ya. Jen:)