Autumn Always
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2002-02-27 05:53:34 (UTC)


Lynn came over tonight. We both skirted around the issue
for awhile and then it all came out. She had known I was
seeing Carrie and that I wasn't telling her so she wouldn't
feel hurt and she was worried. And all the while I'm here
worrying that I'd loose her friendship. We're both so
horrible with confrontation had we said something sooner
this would have been settled already. I'm so sorry I
underestimated her. I feel so lucky. I don't know what I'd
do without her. We had a great time and croshayed for
awhile. Yes I know, it's spelled crotcheted. But I don't
like to spell it like that. I'm working on making squares
for a huge patchwork croshayed quilt. We look like little
old ladies sitting there. It's great. And we ran out to
shop for awhile too and had a blast at K-Mart making fun of
their moo moos and buying panties. I feel so muchbetter
it's indescribable. Now if only Patrick would call. He's so
busy lately with this project he's working on. I'm so happy
for him, but I still worry sometimes. I worry so much. Alot
of that stems from feeling like I'm a burden because of my
anxiety disorder. But I'm working my ass off to fix it. I
WILL take my life back damnit. I'm also worried about
Nathan. He's so unhappy about things. His marriage isn't
working out very well, and while I know he's trying as hard
as he can he's not doing anything to correct it. He's just
as bad as I am with taking big steps. Great minds think
alike. I want so much for him to be happy. He truely
deserves it. I can only hope and pray. Wich I do. Imust
stop eating these tiny chocolate bells. While they are
absolutly delectable I've had too many and I don't feel
good. Off they go. And I too for now.