Hannah Rose Cherry

Hannah's Screwed life(go figure)
2002-02-27 02:20:36 (UTC)

Contradicting life

You know life cant be perfect, and i kno it. but it's not
supposed to be misarable. really i dont think it is. a lot
of ppl are happy, and a lot of ppl arent. life always seems
so stupid, and i wonder, would i be happier dead?????/do u
think that i might be happier??? i really dont kno and
there is only one way to find out, but i'm not sure i want
to. I mean......it's a har dicision to make, really it is.
I men it might be worse dead, i cant imagine not surviving
of course and sometimes i wish i didn't. but there are a
few good things in my life, there arent many but there are
some. i wonder about the people that have no good things in
there lifw though, there are some ppl like that. and they
have to go to therapy(like me) and talkt o a old persone
that doesent do anything but annoy them because there is no
reasone ti listen to them. y do they think they know
evorything about us really. How can they expect us to
trusyt them. My weakened body often thinks about these sort
of things. I'm so tired all the time and i'm only 12,
always sweimming, always working hard in PE. and always
trying as hard as i can in evorything wich is never good
enough. arent parents supposed to encourage you???? they
are not supposed to say the words "you cant do it" they are
supposed to say: "you can do anything you want to". my
parents never say that. it's strange. life is strange, life
is hard, a battle and a challenge. and for me it has too
many obsticals wich may result in madness. i thionk to
myself:"just do it hannah, get it over with. ignore that
BS. it's going to be ok. fuck it all." and it helps but ya
kno lifes abstical course has too many obsticals now a days
and i wouldent be surprised if evoryone in the entire world
jus killed themselves because it really would make sense
to. and if you tell adults you're thoughts they say you are
crazy and send you to places where they give you medicine
to calm you dowen but instead of taking the medicine you
save it up evory day untill you have a lot and you take
them all at one because it doesent matter anymore. evoryone
thinks you are crazy but you kno u arent, but sense no one
will ever take you seriously you think maybe if i was dead
i would go too a better place. because even if you did get
out of the place where they gave you medicine peopl would
still drive you crazy and you would keep going back. so it
would make so much sense jus to leave the world wouldent
it????

current music-Brandy:"what about us?"