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Product of a Broken Home
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2002-02-27 01:58:27 (UTC)

Red Eyes

i've just become a very angry little girl. well, ok, not so
little. but very angry.

i started out the day angry, with annette no less. we
fought over my stupid sleeping habits or something, it was
stupid, we made up very quickly. so, thats fine.

mid-day: i was angry at chris. i'm angry at him at least
once a day, if not more, but as angry at him as i get, its
just surface emotion, and goes away fairly quickly. but i
am going to use this opportunity to bitch about why i'm
angry at him, since we're not talking, and i want him to
hear this, from me and not aaron. so as indirect as this
is, its going to have to do.

you know, i don't even know if he reads this, it might all
be pointless...too fucking bad i guess...

we're still not talking! normally i wouldn't be so
bothered, its not like we talk in regular intervals anyway,
but this time its deliberate, and done very harshly. and he
manages to get anyting he really wants me to know across
through aaron, which is quite mean to him. plus, if he's
got something to say, he can bloody well say it to my face.
and the whole is over something so idiotic.

see, i had that dream, and apparently it angered him, and
grossed it him out. fine. but then, he was really defensive
about it, and i lauhghed, and he got more and more upset,
and i laughed more and more. not at the dream itself, and
not even at the fact that he was bothered by it, but that
he was that distressed over it, and was treating it as such
a serious issue. i mean its a damned dream, something over
which i had no control, and now we're not talking because
of it.

yeah, i probably shouldn't have laughed so much, or made
the comment the other day at mike's, but well, everything
else he brushes off, why not this? he throws comments of
the same nature at other people, he can dish it out, but he
can't take it, its really, really aggravating.

but i am sorry i said anything, if i had known it was going
to cause this big of a reaction, i would have never said
it.

and i ended the day with being angry at june. which i feel
no remorse for, because she deserves every bit of it.

i almost hope she changes her mind about it, decides she
wants to take it back, be friends again, so i can throw it
back in her face. i had a whole speech worked out today. it
was entertaining me on the way to the bus.

that about covers it, sorry for ranting for entirely too
long, but i really needed to say all of that. thanks for at
least pretending to listen, in all likeliness, you got
bored and just skimmed the page, but its not like i'll ever
know anyway.

-jesykA


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