What you never knew
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2002-02-26 23:48:49 (UTC)

This is actually from last nite i didnt have time to write it down


hit and slapped
punched and bruised
not with hands
or balled up fists
with words
clenched teeth
and death stares.
this is all i recieve
by venturing
out of my shelter
my room
i sit tired
and drained
do i feel?
or is that forced emotion?
do i smile
because i want to
or because i have to?
sitting in my shelter
my prison
i am numb
and unfeeling
why this is me
i do not know.
closing my eyes
trying to shut it out
they pry them open
and make me see.
her horrid face
pressed against mine
the dank
disgusting breath
invading my nose
hitting and punching me
with her words
fists clenched
rotting teeth
she tears into me.
does she know that
when i smile
it is not for happiness
but for need
for if i dont
i will be nothing.
does she know
that i dont feel.
does he know
the pang i feel inside
when he yells
through his teeth
and flares his nostrels.
do they know?
their eyes gouge into me
and i shrink before them.
with words they hit me
leaving me scarred
in perilous flight
to get away.
this will never be
i have to stay
to finish
this sad, sad story
that is mine.

Sorry, this I wrote last night after the verbal assult
inflicted on me by my parents. This time I just so happened
to venture out of my room and they closed in on me and
shouted and yelled. All I could do was stand there. Then my
mom said that she wished I had never been born. Thats when
I knew. I was a mistake. A bastard child meant to be and
stay unloved. The truth hurts....Amie