LesTaT

870621345

"Lay your hands upon me,
In search for answers inviting,
Constant struggle inside me,
Guide me through this nothing that's everything"

I could not think of a peacefull start off note. So I
picked the best words to discribe my days. My bro.. well
not by blood. My brother maybe leaveing me soon.. Its hard
to think about such.. He has helped me through alot and I
thank him for that.. "sometimes". I dont know what I will
do if he go's.. He kept me from doing anything to hurt
myself.. cuz he would "try" to come kick my ass if I did..
I know what go's through his mind right now.. And a part of
a song tells it best. When I met him we both felt the
same.. "You can't kill me,I'm already dead,Inside my hole,
Inside my head,We just beg for any way to be sedated,
It's all about escaping,Numb to me,Numb body from this hell"
I understand that more than ever and I know he does as well.

I fould out that my "sis" is getting married! Once again
not sister by "blood".. I congratulate her.. I hope
everything go's ok.. Its going a bit fast..but that's just
me. I talked to her the other day. She was vary happy with
the hole thought of it.. I dont know much about it, I only
had a short time online that night.

My Life...Well. It has seen bad times and some good. I have
always hated it. It has hurt me through out the years so
badly that I do know know why I walked out of it all. I
know now that I would never change my life. Not after
meeting my love. She is the real thought I keep in mind
when the word love is said. Out of anyone's lips. It brings
the most beautiful girl to my mind, to my eyes. I love her!
thats all my mind can say about how I feel. She has made
the best parts of my life. She has made my life.. a life I
can realy call a life now. And I look forward to the rest
of this life. I wish to spend the rest of my life with her.
I hope oneday When I ask her for her hand she will let me.