Autumn Always
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2002-02-26 20:41:13 (UTC)

Life is so complex these days...

Life is so complex these days. I created this diary because
of it. I already have another diary. The sad thing is I
can't really express how I truely feel because of the
people who read it. How nice to be anonymous here. I get
tired of keeping the scales balanced. Peacekeeper.
Something has to change. I have two friends that despise
eachother. One doesn't care that I'm friends with the
other. The other would be livid if she knew. Wich she's
going to soon because as much as I like things to be
peacefull I shouldn't have to hide my friendship. I just
don't want to loose hers over something so ridiculous.
Maybe I'll get lucky. These games are so highschool. They
both only just started college. Not that I'm old, but I'm
older then both of them and they still have some growing up
to do. Well no actually just one. Lynn needs to grow up.
Carrie is just fine. But I love the good qualitys in both
of them. Lynn is coming over in a little bit to hang out.
Perhaps if I can muster the gusto needed we'll have a word.
Another thing. This physco freak I met over the summer
found out I had another diary online, no doubt through
fucking with my computer, either way he gets off on
checking up on my life. My origional diary was for my
thoughts and feelings. Not to instigate friend wars or
satisfy the needs of weirdos. He's beyond pathetic. And he
wonders why he's 32 and all alone with few friends and no
life so to speak. He lied about his age when I first met
him. He tried being in a glam band all his life.The worst
thing is he thinks he can sing. And he can't. He sounds god
awfull and he wonders why he never went anywhere. And when
the real world tapped him on the shoulder he never knew
what hit him. Just thinking about him disgusts me down to
my very soul. It's been months and months and he still
stalks me quietly. What a freak! Move on!!! Go away!!! It's
so sad a grown man acting like a 15 year old kid. I've
never hated anyone in my whole life, EVER. I'm not that
kind of person. He is the first person to ever truely
inspire hate and disgust in me wich is even sadder because
he's not worth the energy of even my adhorence. He's a
drama queen. I'm a big girl now. I don't have time for
little soap operas or tantrums thrown by little boys. It's
such a sad story. I pity him as much as I'm disgusted by
him. Doesn't he realize every time someone mentions
something he said or when he comments in my old diary that
I only pity him more? That he only reiterates and proves
over an over what a childish pathetic little man he is? He
doesn't make me mad or hurt, its just incredibly annoying!!
Grow up for gods sake. Enough of that. Just writing about
him makes my skin crawl. On the upside I have an interview
thursday. I applied at an animal hospital. I hope I get it.
It would make things alot easier. I'm going to run off for
now, Lynn will be here anyminute and I still have a few
things left to do. I'll write soon :)

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