To Whom it May Concern: An Autobiography
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2002-02-26 04:19:09 (UTC)

London, Las Vegas, and Larceny

All the things I have to tell you.

I almost got hit by a car in Vegas. He was stopped at a
stop sign, and my coworker and I were crossing the street,
and when I got directly in front of his mini van, this
beaner tries to run me down!! He got so close before
slamming on the brakes that he hit my elbow against his
hood. Fucker!!!

This hotel we stayed at was a gem. Just precious. We
reserved a block of 4 rooms about 4 months ago for the
trade show. It was the Mardi Gras Best Western. We
checked in, and when Jaclyn went to her room.. She used
the key to open the door, and there, all over the room is
someones luggage!!! They had checked her into someone elses
room!! What lovely security. We went down to the front
desk, and they checked her into another room. We asked if
Jaclyn could be moved into the room when the other guests
checked out in the morning, and the guy says no, the issue
is settled. My coworker asks for an apology at least, for
fucking up our reservations, and this fucking ass says he
won't discuss it further and walks off.

The following morning, we wake up, and my other coworker
bryn is freaking out. Water is pouring out of his light
fixture in his bathroom into the toilet. He is hung over,
wants to pee but is afraid of getting electrocuted. The
front desk transferred him to housekeeping where he is put
on hold. Then after a long wait, they have the nerve to
ask him if they can call him back. He's screaming, "Fuck
no, you will do something about it now, I have to piss!!"

Bryn is checked into a different room, with no leaks.
There are huge stains about 4 feet in diameter on the
carpet. I joke about how that's where the prostitute bled
to death.

That evening my coworkers drank, and partied. They used
the small refridgerators to house their sins.

The following nite, when Jaclyn returns to her room, she
finds her jewelry spread out across her bed as if someone
went through it. Nothing is missing.
She goes to the fridge for a coke, and there is a half
drank carton of milk!! She doesn't drink milk. She feels
like she is hallucinating, but tells us anyway.

The next day, after the show, Lane and Bryn return to their
rooms. They can't find this box of clothing that they'd
brought for a customer. Upon looking in the refridgerator,
they too find a half drank carton of milk.

They call the front desk about the missing box and milk.
They transfer them to housekeeping. Housekeeping says
there was never a box. But they did leave the milk.

THe next morning was check out day. We gathered our
belongings, and after some speculation that the security
man was taking milk baths and prancing around in our
underwear, we go to the front desk to check out. I throw a
fit about the box. They say to talk to housekeeping. I
say that THEY should fucking talk to housekeeping, that
they should take care of shit when their fucking employees
steal from their guests. We then produce the invoice
showing exactly what was in the box. They take our
information and tell us they will investigate.

We go to the final day at the convention. In the
afternoon, Lane's cell phone rings. Housekeeping! The
woman says her box has been found, and if Lane would only
give her a credit card number, she will charge the shipping
to it and ship us the box!! Imagine, she expects us to pay
shipping on a box she stole? And she expects us to give
our credit card numbers to theifs?

Anyway, I hate Vegas, I always have. I've never been able
to express why, except for that it is sleazy. This is a
good demonstration of it.

London, London. What can I say. People are friendly,
although too political, they can't dance... Their fashion
is about 5 years behind, though they are so far behing they
think they are ahead (hahaha). Its this whole cyber goth
5th element shit they were doing out here in LA when I
moved here the first time. I guess Suicide COmmando just
got popular. I think they like us though. Oh, and when
the black man in London is following you, it's o nly cuz he
wants to get you a cab, and you don't have to run. And
when you dance to hip hop in LA, guys will dance with you,
but never touch you. They don't try to hump your leg like
here in the states. Strangers always want to help you find
a cab!! The tube (underground) is clean, easy to use...
Safe to ride by yourself at nite. People drink there
starting around lunch, then heavily by 5pm, then are in bed
by 11pm. hahaha. we donn't even start drinking until 11pm
here. Oh, and the croatians... I guess the womyn aren't
as liberated there in croatia as they are here...
Basically, I was at this synthpop club called Electric
Dreams. I was talking to this English guy Phil and his two
Croatian "normal" friends Anna and Eva. Anyway, At the end
of the night, the girls were sloshed, and apparantly this
guy had approached this Anna girl and proposed that she go
to the bathroom with him. She was so upset by this, and
even more pissed that her friend Phil hadn't protected her
in anyway. She was screaming at this guy Phil, telling him
how terrible he was for not protecting her from this slime
ball, who had made this terrible proposal. I couldn't
believe she was screaming at this guy... I told her she
should have told him to fuck off... And if she made a lot
of noise it would have called attention to him and he would
have been scared and ran off. She said, no, she wouldn't
do that. I told her, fuck, I"ll take care of him, where
did he go, I could fuck his ass up... She was horrified-
She told me that violence was bad, and she whispered things
to her friends, before whisking my friend Phil away from
me, who had told me earlier that he liked me for being

One other thing. Met this S. African who used to be
flatmates with Ronan from VNV. He wrote me an email
telling me how he liked my fashion and musical taste. I
responded, and never heard back.. Maybe I offended him