sarah beara

sarah beara
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2002-02-25 17:56:39 (UTC)

i'm in quite the writing mood today

i don't know why. i go from never updating either of my
journals to updating them both....

it makes me feel so incredibly glad to know that i have
someone that will be there for me no matter what. that i
have someone who loves me for who i am...that i have
someone who will never leave me...that i have someone who
wants to be my everything....who knows that he wants to be
together forever....who doesn't make me seem foolish for
thinking that....who is by far the most beautiful and
amazing person that i've ever known. it makes me feel
incredible to know that no matter where i go...no matter
where he goes, we're going to go together.....

it feels so great....

work is much less stressful now that i know i only have
about 8 days left.... :) it's great....i find that i don't
get as frustrated by the little things anymore....i find
that all the petty ridiculous people that i work with are
going to disappear in less than 2 weeks... :) yay! :D

when i told my step-dad about moving to florida, he got
upset...not because i'm leaving so much...but more because
he was concerned that i was leaving because of
him...because i don't want to be around him or because i
don't love him....that's not the case at all....i hope he
still doesn't think that....

i'm very excited about the drive down there...i've never
been on such a long road trip before....i love road trips
though...the ones i've taken have been so much fun...this
will probably be even better since i get to go with
brett... :)

i was thinking alot last night about how much i miss
him...i was thinking about all the little things that i
miss...before i ached to feel them, but now it's more of a
ache to feel them again....it's almost as though we were
teased by getting to spend 11 days together then having to
go home and try to make it for a month without having the
person there to hold, or having him here to kiss, or having
him here to just look at, or having him here to talk to, or
having him here to make me feel better when i'm sad....

it's torture to get to experience all those things and how
great they are - and then to have to try to go back to
normal for a month until you can be together again...it
hurts so much....but i know that once we get through this
that we'll be able to have all those things forever and
that we will never have to be apart for such a long time
again....

ahhhhhhhhh! that word "forever"...it's amazing...it has an
amazing effect on me...it makes me feel so secure in
everything....i love when i hear him say "i'm going to
marry you some day"....it makes me feel so safe and
loved...i've never had someone who said they wanted to be
with me forever....that they knew that it was right and
that they could see us together in the future...and it
feels good to know that i feel the same way...forever
certain does have an enchanting ring to it doesn't it? :)

*runs off to think girlly thoughts about the future and
love*


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