Amie

What you never knew
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2002-02-25 15:57:36 (UTC)

Hmmm.....

Alright I have to admit it..I am not usually a jeleous
person. But there is one thing that is making me
jeleous..and it has to do with matt. He is friends with all
of these girls. I dont have a problem with it really
because I have male friends. But theres one
difference...the guys that are my friends dont like me ne
more than a friend. Some of these girls that he is friends
with like him alot more than friends and he doesnt even see
it. I mean hello? Being a girl I know that when I call a
guy alot for no reason...well its not for no reason, its
because I like the guy. I dont know what to do because I'm
not just gonna be like, hey you cant talk to them ne more
because I'm paranoid. But at the same time I like, want him
to at least aknowledge the fact that they like him. He is a
very likeable guy and I dont think that he sees that. And I
read one of his entries and he said that he met or saw
Jessica and that shes pretty cool and bla bla. I just felt
this pang of jeleousy and I dont like it. I know that he
would never ever cheat on me and he probably has no
feelings for these girls so WHAT AM I WORRYING ABOUT?? I
mean..even if he had just a tiny crush on them it would be
okay with me because hes human and that stuff happens. I
dunno I guess I'm just like needing to write down the fact
that ME, I, MYSELF is jeleous. I dont get jeleous...whats
going on here? I think its more of the whole fact that I
have such strong feelings for him and I want him all to
myself lol. Not seriously tho because thats just not coo of
me to do..I dont think its so much that I care about wether
he has these female friends its just more of the whole...IM
JELEOUS lol. This is frustraiting me tho as u can tell. Oh
well I dont really care cause I know that nothing would
ever happen with those girls and him and if it did..well
I'd kick him in the balls lol.
But yea ne ways enough of my constant ramblings. Gaaah I am
so sick of this. Okay, I had a slight cold awhile ago and
it involved the taking of my voice. Well I am completely
healthy now...but my voice is still like being gay. And
sometimes it hurts really bad and I cough up blood and
stuff. Ahh its painful. And I went to the doctor awhile
agoa and he was all telling me that I would be better in a
couple of days but its been 2 weeks now and I dont know
what is going on. And my gay ass mother wont take me back
because she says I'm fine. WHEN YOUR COUGHING UP BLOOD YOU
ARE NOT FINE DAMNIT!!!!!!!! yea well ne ways I gotta go
peace. amie


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