Angela Nicole

2002-02-25 03:39:29 (UTC)

I feel so lost

I dont even know how to explain it.. I just feel numb.. I
need Matt SO FUCKING BAD.. No one could even imagin.. He is
everything to me.. More then He realized and more then I
think I realized myself.. I want to feel his arms around
me.. Kissing me on the forehead and telling me he loves
me.. God i want that so fucking bad.. I just gotta be
strong for 1 more year and deal with this long distant
shit.. Actually just tell Sept I know I will.. We are just
gonna have to be strong and hold on to one another.. Cuz i
Have a feelings its gonna be tough rollercoaster there..
Mostly because for some reason I cant handle not being with
him its alot harder then I rememberd long distance
relationships.. Maybe because I have never loved ANYONE as
much as I love him its a whole new feeling and to be
honest.. its kinda scary.. Not in a bad way.. Cuz I know
matt would never do anything to hurt me.. I wouldnt ever do
anything to hurt him either.. I was here once before kinda
with someone .. and while it lasted it was good.. But i
remember how i felt after it ended.. I felt so alone, so
lost, so confussed and im just scared for some reason that
will happen.. I really dont think it will but i dunno there
is something in my head not letting me give it my all just
incase for some reason I get hurt again It wont hurt so
bad.. I dunno .. Im gonna go keep talking to my baby now. I