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2002-02-24 22:02:33 (UTC)

"Miss Confused" Feb 24, 2002

Today so far has been aiight. It's weird i'm confused and
not focused on all the same things at once and have
scattered thought's in my mind. First of all I talked to a
boy we all call Fufu. Back in 7th grade we were the best of
friends went everywhere together hung out so much that
everyone thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. One time
I had him come along to meet these two boy's Jake and Sven.
Obviously Jake held my hand and what not and somehow Fufu
got jealous and told me that he thought Jake was all kind's
of bad things. Than after that me and Jake went out until the end of
8th grade and
Fufu still told me how much he didn't like Jake. But last
night I had found out that Fufu envied him and was jealous
of him because he liked me. I had told him how bad I felt
about going back to Jake and never bothering to hang with
him anymore. Me and Fufu told everything to eachother last
night. How we should have told eachother we liked eachother
even though it would be hard. I still have feelings for him
but didn't realize it till I woke up this morning. I had a
dream I married this boy but it didn't scare me cause I
woke up smilling. We told eachother that we would start
hanging out again but it may be hard to begin a whole new
relationship. Who know's we may turn out to be friends or
something even more bigger. But, everytime I think of how I
didn't listen to him when I knew he was right I feel so
much worser. I also have feelings for Chris still. I know
he doesn't like me all that much I can tell so somehow I
need to get over him and try to just be a friend and not
have different thoughts other than that. I guess you could
say I give my heart away easily. I also feel something is
empty right now I dont know what it is either. I'll find
out when I need to know most

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