Manifestoes From The Amusement Park
2002-02-24 07:31:06 (UTC)

Haven't Slept For Years

Clarity comes after the pain, clarity comes after you.
After the prick, after the blood, after the feeling, the
numb clarity comes. The cold comes, the dead come, they
keep my company as the clarity allows me to finally see
things, things I never knew were real as well as the
falsities in things I always had believed in. I almost
mutter the words... "The pain is worth it.." but I refrain.
Even in this state I'm not sure if it is all worth it.
Maybe I don't need clarity, maybe I need blind
ignorance...maybe my happiness lies behind that. Lord knows
the Clarity doesn't make me happy, it makes me wither...
what will happen when I have faded completely? Will I then
have nothing but confusion... will I once again go through
that with you? Well.... was it worth it to you?