What you never knew
have you ever been watching tv and then you start to think
about something...then it gets to the point where your
staring at the screen but you cant see the tv ne more?
That's basically whats going on with me. Its hard to
explain what exactly is going on because I dont even know
myself. Its just everything. I feel numb...I dont feel any
emotion I cant express any emotion. I just sit with this
blank expression on my face with my hands in my lap.
I have become very good at acting I am finding. Inside I
feel nothing and dont know what to do but when people are
around I definately cant portray that to them. So I plaster
this huge fake smile on my face and I shout and be loud and
giggle and be what they know me to be. I've gotten really
good at hiding those "emotions" or lack thereof. People
wouldnt and dont even know...it's kinda funny to think
So I am blank inside and out. Numb and unfeeling. It's
strange to think that I can't even MAKE myself feel.HMMM.
Sitting blank and unfeeling,
I stare ahead my mind reeling.
Feeling nothing but having to,
People dont know this is what I do.
Why is it that I am numb?
All too many people calling me dumb.
What do I do now,
show me please show me now.
I dont know why
but I dont want to try.
Maybe if i stop it here,
I wont have anything to fear.
Because numb will be no more,
and I will have an open door
Sorry just a little poem I came up with on the spurr of the
moment. Peace and love, amie
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