it changed it all
Well Thursday started out being a pretty good day. But
here's my theory about what happened. When I accidentally
dropped my $70 watch on a street downtown and it sat there
for 20 mins without getting run over or stolen by anyone...
it was cuz the gods looked at my day ahead and said, man,
she's doesn't need that shit today too...
Then it was going pretty good cuz I was driving out to go
see the new guy in my life after school so we could study
for our midterm the next day and that was pretty good. I
was happy and had fun out there. Things had been going so
great I liked him lots
- he's really nice
- he's really funny
- he treats me good
- he's got a good job
- he's smart
- he's really cute
- nice car even
So yeah, everything seemed to be going in my favour. I had
gotten over that BS stuff that I'd heard from my friend's
friend about him (i'm still convinced that it wasn't true)
and we had lots of fun out at his house.
Later on, after we'd finished studying we were coming back
into the city to meet some other people (2 of my friends
and 1 of his friends) we were having a conversation in the
car... so i'm driving along on the highway at 100 kph.. and
then i find out that he's on drugs. That's just great. SO
he's nowhere near as perfect as I thought before. I mean,
he smokes pot, like once a month or so.
This is so difficult for me to deal with cuz I know that
marijuana is illegal for no good reason. I just did a
course on it and it's just stupid. It's not habit forming,
doesn't do any damage to you or anything. It's just
illegal. It's an illegal drug. And that's what bothers me.
I don't really break rules. It's not even something that I
can explain, but for some reason just being able to follow
rules (ie the law) is something I value in people. I
wouldn't ever ever wanna see him doing that. I don't like
to deal with people who are high, it annoys me to no end.
And I freak out about what would happen if my parents ever
found out about it... they would think so much less of me.
(why would they think less of me, i'm not the one who's
doing it. but I know that they would.. i'm supposed to have
better sense than to go out with someone like that) And
just me knowing that my boyfriend (which he isn't yet but
things were heading there) is on drugs. Could I really deal
with that? Just being the way I am, could I deal with how I
would feel about MYSELF in that situation? I've just been
good my whole life -- and if my parents ever found out
about it this would just screw things up so royally. But
before i knew all this he was so great... is it worth
dealing with all this for? Which is more important?