Tinker Bell's daily amount of goofy
Of Mary Sues & Me--an essay, by Claudia LL
Everybody seems to be writing fanfics lately. Or at least,
from a particular 'universe' (e.g. Harry Potter); but
seriously, I'm not
the biggest fan of fanfics (no pun intended), even if at my
own site, there's
a contest for them....but honestly, I opened that site,
because, well, everybody
seems to be writing fanfics, and because I wanted to open a
spot for those fans
of my art (I hope...), who can't or won't draw for my Guest
But it ended up being a total fiasco, mainly due to the
lack of fanfics
received; that, and a little plagerism scandal I had
between 2 authors, put a
total end to that contest.
Anyway, as I said, I'm not very fond of fanfics; it's not
the same as doing
fanart, in case you were expecting to win this litigation I
creating, with that particular argument. In fanart (at
least in mine),
I don't introduce products of my imagination, only my own
skills as an artist
applied to an existing character, to obtain a different
I've never been able to write stories. Never. Not even in
I always managed to get selected for the narrrative
contests, I'd always
stay behind -way behind- when competing with
representatives from all
those other schools.
I tried to write a fanfic -once-, but I didn't intend to
write just a fanfic,
but a Primer on how to correctly write fanfics. The problem
is that it ended looking
more like a Primer, than a fanfic itself, so my first
intentions were a tad too obvious,
completely exposing my little 'trap'.
Until one year, when our language teacher, taught us
what an essay was.
This time, my essay was undisputably, the best of my whole
I thought so, and the teacher thought so. So, I found my
true calling -in
the literate world, at least; I won't be leaving my true
artistic calling yet-
and I wrote a couple of essays. I discovered that I had
been writing them
all my life, only that I usually forgot to put them on
I was always the quiet one. That gave me the time and
to create, and most of all, to observe. After the
observation, my train
of thought went quite fast, and I always dwelled on
something, an opinion, or conclusion, worth
...But everybody seems to be writing fanfics. Or at
least, creating characters
for them! And since I can't write a story to save my life,
to create a character for a fanfic, myself.
And what better example, than a Mary Sue! Yep, a Mary Sue
exactly the kind of character I keep running to, whenever
makes me read a fanfic, or someone creates a character.
So based, on the Mary Sue description, I decided to base
it on me, because
that's rule number one.
But I just encountered some trouble here: since this Mary
Sue is based on me,
she can't be a Mary Sue, according to the description I
Mainly, any character based on me, would be a complete
Hated by the rest of the characters; never had a boyfriend,
so she can't be
the character's lover; not exactly beautiful, in fact,
chubby; not a dime,
in case money is an issue here, I don't know; not many
talents, and none
of them very apreciated; not quite a figure of authority,
as a push-over;
had never saved the day (in fact, usually makes things
worse)...and so on, and so on.
I, as a person, am totally clumsy; I'm not ashamed to
recognise it (at
least I'm honest!), and I've been able to live with it, and
not do many things, so I
won't look that clumsy...but still, whatever I do, I'm
So, if my character were part of the Harry Potter
universe, she'd be the only
one to smash her head when running into the wall at King's
she'd be the one to get trapped in a moving staircase, the
make even Harry look good to the eyes of professor Snape,
compared to her,
the one who'll never get off the ground in her broom,
because it would just
never obey her, adding to the embarrasment, and so on.
And because I've been considered 'the geek' before, my
surprisingly, won't stay behind.
The description says that Mary Sue always hangs out with
the main characters.
Well, my Mary Sue isn't 'cool' enough.
She's the one who won't go to the Yule Ball, because she'd
stay in her room eating chips from a can and watching E.R.
(she couldn't get
a date, anyway)
She's the one who'll probably pass with better marks than
Hermione herself, but
no one will notice, because no one cares about what she
She's the one who has no time for herself, so she
probably looks like a mess,
but since she's invisible to others, it doesn't matter much
She's the one who got lost on Diagon Alley, and couldn't
get magic quills,
but thought 'magic markers' would do.
And like me, she would've graduated with honours, but got
too lazy during
the last term, and just 'graduated'...barely there.
So you see? I couldn't create a 'me' Mary Sue, even if I
tried to conceal
her flaws (I'd take too long!)
So there, I'll just hang on to fanart, instead.