nothin left to say
2002-02-22 22:19:46 (UTC)

makes u wonder

its kinda wierd how life can change so fast. or maybe not
life, but ur perception of it. i dunno, ive had a rough
week. nothin really bad happened or anythin, but its just
my melodramatic personality kicks my fuckin ass sometimes.
i try to play off relationships, tell myself that i gots
time and theres a lot of other girls out there. but u know
what? it's easier said then done. all i want really are
the basic things in life. i dont need sex and all that
shit, i just want someone who'll be there for me and ill
be there for them. thats all i want. but bein a teen and
all, my peers dont really want that. they want to
experience life. why don't i think like that? instead of
bein chained to the drudgery of thought. and whenever i
find a girl and we become friends i always mess it up
somehow when i decide that i wanna be more then friends.
like, its just awkward when we talk, and like i become
this nervous kid. i dunno what it is. actually. i think i
do. i havent had good experiences w/relationships in the
past. and ive gotten hurt. really hurt. and i guess my
subconscience is tryin 2 prevent me from gettin hurt. i
guess. whatever it is, its killing me. no one can live
alone. im surronded by ppl, but im so alone. its
horseshit. life is horseshit.