Meshed Up
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2002-02-22 11:22:28 (UTC)

Sex, Nelson, and Rachel

dear diary,

to be pissed is one thing, to be mad is another. but how is
it possible that i am pissed AND i am mad?

but before i start this tale of anger, i must list down the
characters (not their real names):

rachel - sister of jonathan, head over heels in love with
nelson, chases after him, lusts for him, tried to
seduce him by showing off her butt, rubbing her
nipples on his back, and whatever other bullshit
stunt, fantasizes about nelson

nelson - wtf, you guys know who nelson is!!

jonathan - the brother of rachel, boyfriend of billie,
close friend of nelson's

billie - girlfriend of jonathan, close friend of nelson's
as well

oh wtf?! i mean, jeez! the only people involved in this
entry is rachel and me!

i am irritated at myself and i'm irritated at rachel who
looks down on me just becuase i'm young. I HATE PEOPLE WHO
cynicism and how she justifies it by saying that she's
older and smarter and all the bullshit. i don't believe
wiseness has anything to do with age. and just because i'm
fucking three years younger than she is doesn't mean she's
any smarter. IT'S ONLY THREE YEARS! i can carry and hold a
good conversation with somebody ten or twenty years older
than i am because i am not blind or cynical or
disillusioned. i am not as stupid and naive as she thinks i

i am irritated at myself simply because of all the things i
have done wrong which rachel takes great pleasure in
reminding me of. but i am not a slut! i am not like her! i
will not stoop down to her level, claim holiness, and yet
masturbate till her fucking clit screams for mercy. she
thinks she's all goodie-two-shoes and yet she knows more
about sex than i do. she's a self-proclaimed virgin who
knows a lot about different positions and styles. is she a
virgin really or does she claim to be because she wants to
lick nelson's ass?

i hate her! and yes i love bitching about bitches like her
because they are bitches indeed! i am fed up and fucking
mad! i am mad!! i have kept my silence for too long! i have
held my feelings in for too long! i want to scream and
shout and curse and show the world just how pissed off and
annoyed i am. i'm going to explode and shout the words that
will set my soul on fire!


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