my life (as told by me)
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2002-02-22 04:09:35 (UTC)

it's started again.....

well, it's the 21st. and not much out of the ordinary has
happened. i'm still not too happy with how my relationship
life is going. i mean, it's going, but there are certain
things that are getting to me, and most likely getting to
him too. and the fact that i still like josh probably
doesnt help too much. hey, that's the first time i've ever
mentioned names. lol. anyways, today, lady decided to roll
in a puddle with me on her. nice huh. i kinda got mad and
had to walk home and give her a bath. ok back to the topic.
i've decided i'm never riding with brian again, unless i
know he isnt mad, and he's going to be driving on main
roads...ones where he has to go the speed limit. he's
extremely scary when he's mad. i dont like it. it's
different if i'm driving. but i know how he drives, and i
was almost in tears tonight because i was so scared. and i
think my knuckle is's swollen and red and
hurts like a bitch. so, i have to go to the doctors tm and
have it looked at. but not before i go boarding with beth.
kim spent the night two nights ago. that was quite
interesting, cuz i learned things she says to her
dentist...."you're going to stick that there?!?!" and i
almost hit some lady leaving rome. i'm scared to drive
again. anyways, i'm really confused at this moment in time,
because i'm not sure about my relationship life anymore.
it's just so confusing. because everyone is making it
difficult for me. especially certain people. they know damn
well who they are. nothing seems to be going too well. well
i mean in my relationship life. it never does. there is
only one person that could make me happy right now. the one
guy that i want....but that i swear is the farthest away
from wantin me. i've said that before, but i believe it. he
knows i'm there, but i just dont know anymore....i feel
like i'm depriving myself of something by not telling him
how i feel. but then again if i tell him, our friendship
could be destroyed...see? nothing ever goes right with
relationships. at least not til you're married.......bites,
dont it.

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