The Story of Me
2002-02-21 17:24:37 (UTC)

The Waiting Game

UGH!! So I had the IUI *intrauterine insemination* done
yesterday and I won't know the results until March 5th. I
have to wait two weeks. Twelve days from today. I am going
to go insane waiting. I will say again, that the chance of
conception of the first try is rare, but I am hoping and
praying that it happens. Frank and I are trying to stay
positive, yet keep ourselves grounded. If we happen to go
through the disappointment of no conception this month, we
want to be prepared. It is such an emotional journey. One
minute I am high on the possibility of becoming a mother and
the next, I am thinking, "What if it doesn't work?" Talk
about a tug-of-war on the heart.

It was mildly painful. I had cramping before the procedure
and increased discomfort afterward. I was so nervous that
the doc had a hard time finding my cervix. Once she did it
was smooth sailing. I couldn't believe how simple it was.
When she first began inserting the catheter, it tickled!! I
almost started giggling:) But it gave way to cramping
shortly thereafter. Frank was in the room with me and I
know he was watching intently. I was so nervous I don't
remember much of anything besides how it felt. Don't ask me
what the doc said, she jabbered through the procedure, but
the only thing I managed to catch was, "Do not have
intercourse tonight." SHIIIIIT!!! LOL!! After a week of
abstinence I was soooo ready to get home and do the
horizontal mambo! Poor Frank. I was such a wicked
temptress, but he remained steadfast and cut me off. That
bastard. LOL

I am so aware of everything my body is doing today. Every
time I feel something near my every-stuff, I am like, "Ooh!
I wonder if that's it?! Was that ovulation? Was that
fertilization? Do I just need to fart?" LOL Serious
though, I am very conscious of everything going on. And to
think, I have twelve more days of this torture. I have been
doing a lot of reading on the net about reproduction and
infertility and such and the one thing I have zeroed in on
is "implantation spotting." It occurs 5-10 days after
ovulation and fertilization. I guess I have myself
convinced that once I see the spotting, we have succeeded.
I have even taken to wearing white undies so I can "see"
everything that comes to pass. Gross eh? Ahhh the trials
and tribulations of a mother-wanna-be.

Nuff fer now. I need to go clean my house. Ohhh!
"Nesting?" Hardly. it's just a pit after leaving my hubby
home alone for the weekend and week of my efforts being
elsewhere. Later taters!!