angryanymore
angryanymore
x...vanishingact...x
kolby says...
i dreamt of a fever, one that would cure me of this cold,
winterset heart with heat to melt these frozen tears,
burned with reasons as to carry on into these twisted
months i plunge without a light to follow but i swear that i
would follow anything just get me out of here
but you get six months to adapt, and you get two more to
leave town and in the event that you do adapt, we still
might not want you around but i fell for the promise of a
life with a purpose but i know that that's impossible now
i give myself three days to feel better
or else i swear i'm driving off a fucking cliff
if i canât make myself feel better
how can i expect anyone else to give a shit?
i swear that i'm dying, slowly but it's happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
just take me there, and lie to me and say it's gonna be
alright.
yeah, you worry too much kid. it's gonna be alright.
... ...
i started pretending like he wasn't real... not too long
ago... ... and in some ways he's not... ... but... he's
also.. the one person who is alive... because he's like...
the symbol... of the person walking on the street... who's
thought's you'll never figure out. ... ... how do you go
from thinking you know someone so completely... to not
talking or acknowlegding each other at all? ... note: this
has nothing to do with unrequited love. ... this has to do
with puzzlement... and concern... because ... i did love
this person. he was my first. ... and i learned things from
him... that i could have never learned from anyone else.
sometimes i think... that maybe... the parts of me... that
people love the most... are just the parts of him that
rubbed off on me. ... ... ... and it leaves me empty...
and ... clone like. ... and i hate it.
...
on to another subject. i just got back from jackson. i saw
jackie. and that was subliminal. ... (not jackson... but
jackie, rather)... everything else sucked.
erika's eating a lean pocket.
... and i was seriously considering saying something to
kolby... but i don't think i will... because he's not real
to me anymore.
... i'm curious about issac. he doesn't talk to me much
anymore. he rarely emails me... and i'm insanely jealous...
but i'm not sure of what or who...
... i also thought about gabe tonite. ... what a beautiful
person... who simply vanished. ... kinda like issac. why do
beautiful people vanish?
neeley.
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