jallure

jallure's eyes
2001-05-02 03:47:28 (UTC)

i dont know...d0okie?

damn. i hate this, im on the phone with my boyfriend... i
want to tell him so much more than i feel like saying. he
lives 2 hours away from me...i hate the distance! there
are nights where i cry myself to sleep in frustration. i
am constantly missing him and it gets so bad sometimes i
just try to break up with him...i know its bad, but i feel
so full of anger, frustration, hurt, and lonliness (on
occassion). he means like everything to me, and gosh, if
you only knew what a nice guy he is...he is the NICEST guy
anyone will ever meet, but he can be so inconsiderate at
times! i just feel like crying so often with him... boy,
let me tell you; he has softened my heart to a point of
MUSH! im so sensitive at times..its like right now, i
wanted him to get online to check out this new diary thing
i started today, but he just had an excuse to go do
something else. we use to talk ssooo much everyday and its
like now we just dont have anything to hold a conversation
going strong unless we're talking about breaking up and
where we are going with our relationship.... it seems that
at times, i just want to argue and fight so we can have
something meaningful to talk about... see, im the type of
girl that loves to have attention; the more the better! i
like positive attention though, OF COURSE! well yeh... when
we spend time together, which is limited to the weekends,
unfortunately ;( .... anyway in that time, its like i want
his complete attention set on me and only me. i love to be
clingy to him and just be close, thats just how i am. so
you see, its really hard to not see him at all during the
week, considering the way i am. *sighs* i have no idea why
i am writing again but i guess i feel better even when i
just start to write something. i miss my babii...
thanks for listening. goodnight....i think.