Mykel

o.o
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2002-02-20 20:32:20 (UTC)

so much for the afterglow

well I feel a little wierd about things today. my friend
told me some stuff HER friend heard from another friend
about the guy I'm seeing that isn't real cool -- but I'm
not sure I believe it... basically it's stuff saying that
he's wierd sorta like the last guy I went out with (kind
of went out with) and I dunno I don't think I really
believe it... cuz with the last guy, things were a little
strange, I could tell right off that something just wasn't
right about it. I couldn't tell at first it was that he was
kind of possessive/controlling but I figured it out pretty
quick, and as I said, i knew all along that something was
kind of wierd. SO with that in mind I figure that I should
be able to spot something like that again and I'm not
getting any of those kinds of signs from this guy. He seems
really cool. But the whole thing hearing about it yesterday
kinda freaked me out I guess so now today I sorta felt
wierd. I mean, not really wierd... but my heart wasn't all
a flutter today but the fact that i've felt like im gonna
puke since i woke up and i have a headache and other
female stuff going on at the moment could all explain that.
It's really wierd cuz I'm all worried that I'm just gonna
stop liking him or something, cuz i SO don't want to stop
liking him which should BE a clear indication that I DO
like him... it's just so wierd. I think I need some sleep
and some tylenol. I dunno. Like, I clearly like him if i'm
sitting there in the car when he drops me off thinking "r u
gonna kiss me yet.... r u gonna kiss me yet...?" i mean if
I didn't like him i wouldn't wanna kiss him. I'm not like
the kind of person who would just mess around with anyone
for fun. I don't do stuff like that with people I don't
like. So why aren't I all lovey-dovey??? Argh. I think I
just need some time to get over the flu. That's probably it
I might not have the energy. I worry so frikkin much this
isn't even funny. Why am I even worried about this?? grrr.
when I danced with him it just felt so right in a way (to
steal words from my drunken ex's drunken rambling) it was
so comfortable... i was like "yes... he's a good one" and I
like spending time with him, he's lots of fun, and he's so
nice and so funny... argh. Worrying too much!!!!!!

******************************************
i also went back and read some stuff that i wrote way back in
november... there was this entry i put in on nov. 13th about this guy
that i usd to like and how i was sure he was gonna find out since his
friend found out accidentally... well after a while i just never saw
him around so i got freaked out and paranoid that he was avoiding me
cuz he knew and he hated me or thought i was a hideous beast or
something like that since I haven't really since him since early
november. Eventually I got over that fear and was basically back to
normal. On Friday after going to the bar with the current romantic
interest my friends and i went to perkins and the other guy (who i
thought was running away from me), his friend came into the
resteraunt and was drunk and divulged that his friend did in fact
know about it all this time. I didn't ask many questions cuz I was
rather embarassed about the whole thing and was trying to find a way
to turn invisible very quickly. So i thought i was this big paranoid
wreck for thinking that he knew and that he was avoiding me. I don't
know if this is good news or not cuz it turns out i'm not a paranoid
wreck, it was true so i am a hideous beast and he was in fact running
away from me. SO is that GOOD NEWS ??? !?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? argh! but
the new love interest actually came into the resteraunt at that time
unexpectedly *perhaps a sign from above* hehehe... so i got away from
the conversation about me liking that guy by making a big scene about
the other guy coming in. So that was pretty good. And when i went out
on a date with him on Monday the other guy's friends saw us and i
could hear them asking eachother "who's that???" and they were sorta
staring at him and stuff so I don't know what the hell that was all
about but i thought it was kinda funny.


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