Psychotic Rambles
Ad 2:
2002-02-20 18:39:06 (UTC)

Have you been to the desert, have you walked with the dead?

Hellz ya peoples! i got my skateboard! whooohooo! i went
out today in the streaming rain and wind to skate. it was
awesome! i almost got an ollie. i was practising my stance,
mostly, so now i can definately go which direction i want
to go. they put candy with the board. Lifesaver Kickerz are
so badass! Some people may say that i copy people. but of
course that isnt true...i'm an extremely open person. if
you show me something and i like it, then who is to stop me
from doing it? i dont kno whow many times i've mentioned
this, but i've always wanted to be one of the guys. more
than likely after katelyn (crys) leaves that'll be the last
girlfriend i'll honestly have. which is fine with me. I
hate the lies and the never ending competition. i may get
some competition from guys (say if i become good at
skating... NOT!!)but that'll be normal and not sabotaging
like girlz is. I am in SUCH a good mood! wwhheeeee! so
anyway, summer is the perfect time to completely warp into
ONE OF THE GUYS and that will be precisely what i'll do.
OK. cannot listen to staind right now...need something
cocky..punkish. found glory'll work. So where was i?

oh yea, by the way. Katelyn is totally screwing me over.
well, not really but i feel screwed over. never
misunderstand, i would never try to keep her from having
other friends, but when she starts BECOMING someone
else...i've already said this, i know. I could never hate
katelyn herself, but i hate what she's becoming, what she's

i was writing for Dr.D in seminar (a short story) and i was
describing this one dude, and i realized thats exactly what
i would picture a perfect guy like. he sort of reminded me
of me. Physically, he has to be taller. well tanned, no
freckles, the color of his eyes fairly undefined. His hair
should be long and a blondish color falling in touseled
whisps across his forehead, just below his brows. Muscular,
or at least well built, and a very easy coming smile. He
should be extremely happy go lucky/cheery like me. sort of
oblivious to things like me. He has to love doing new
things and he should be simple (as in he doesnt require
$120 tommy hilfigers and his bedsheets are solid colors).
He has to like computers and video games, no RPG's. He
should be able to play guitar and skate. He cant be exactly
like everyone else, but i have to be able to identify with
him. as in, if i would look and smile at him and bust out
with something like peanut butter he should grin back and
say something like "..and jelly sandwitches". he has to be
smart, good grades, like sports. We should be able to watch
baseball and football or nascar together and have the best
time. he has to know a lot about cars...a real mechanic.
and preferably a good cook. I play out so many scenes in my
mind about the perfect relationship. At a car wash, having
a soap/water fight...wrestling matches...watching sports
together...playing each other on tony hawk or
worms...playing guitar for each other. or when we would see
each other after a long time he should just light up and
pick me up and swing me around and we would just start
laughing. i always see us laughing. i love laughing and to
me the point of a boyfriend is to get me away from all the
depressive shit. I've never had that before. just a whole
relationship filled with laughter. that would be so great.
Now where in the hell could i find a guy like that? nowhere
i tell you! ha. someone like me. who understands my stupid
jokes. who gets it when i skip from topic to topic. who can
watch my train of thought without getting dizzy. ay me!


Exhilarated skater girl