Aleah

Whenever * Whatever
2002-02-20 01:24:01 (UTC)

Visions or An Attempt To Make Me Fear?

Long time, no write. I know! I have had so much happen that
I wanted to jot down, but I haven't had time to breath, let
alone do much else. You are probably wondering why I have
such a fucked up title, huh?

Saturday morning, my mom's pastor said that he had a dream
that he was holding onto the cross with one hand & holding
my hand with the other. He said that I was hanging over a
cliff & I started laughing at him & let go. He said in his
dream when he looked over the cliff....it was hell. Have I
lost any sleep? Not anymore than I usually do. I just don't
see the point in working my whole life for something that
is close to impossible to reach.

In better news, my last day at Wal-Mart is March 1st. I am
so excited I could just piss my pants. I start a new job at
the churches Child Development Center on March 4th. I guess
since March 4th is my b-day....I get a new job. *Lol* Or
however you want to look at it.

My mom & I spent the day together. That's a very rare
thing, but I love her despite our differences. We had lunch
& she bought me all kinds of "Sweet Pea" stuff from Bath &
Body Works. She & my dad are going to make my March car
payment for me as another gift.

Dad & I are making a better relationship & not because he
buys me stuff. He is actually taking interest in the things
I am into & he's being a "real" dad. At this point I think
I could actually forgive him for everything. I still have
my reserves though. I guess that's my down fall. I tend to
judge peoples future by their past.

So you see, I am not really a horrible, evil person. I just
need a little help now & then. To look at me you would
think I never had a problem in this world. That goes to
show that looks are deciving.

I have mixed feelings about working at the church. I mean
why would they want me to work there if they consider me to
be such a bad person that is hanging from the drop off to
hell? That confuses me because he offered me the job & told
me his dream within 5 minutes of eachother. Why are
preachers so confusing? Also, I am going to have to wear
skirts ONLY at work. It's gonna be great though. I have to
keep telling myself that.

Aleah




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