~*Stumbling Through Life*~
Magic Wands and Bubble Baths.
Liana told me today that she wished she had a magic wand
that could ~*ZAP*~ all her problems away. Later, I found
myself thinking about that. I realized that, though in my
most depressed and desperate moments, I would have killed
for that wand, I didnt need it. Look at me, just take a
look. I am happy, I listen to my friends and their needs
without getting hurt or defensive, and I am more confident
with myself. That is a place I never thought I could be at
3 months ago. But here I am, and I did it all on my own,
and I am 500 times the better person because of it.
If I hadnt gone through this situation, where would I be
next year? I would face the same problems over and over
again. I would not listen to my friends, I would be clingy,
and I wouldnt have self respect as I do now. I dont take
shit from anyone, and people know that. Like I said before,
its not like everything is going to be perfect, because I
know it wont. I will still have problems, they will never
stop. But I now know that I can beat any situation, because
in the last 3 months, I have battled my way through THE
toughest situation I have ever been in; and I did it BY
MYSELF. And I mean that-I had no friends to stick up for
me, and no one to make me feel better, no one to understand
Everyone (myself included) expected my problems to go away
in one day. I would go throught all this shit, then one
day, I'd just be fine again. But, it doesnt work that way.
Over April, I have been getting better, and now I am almost
there, but not quite. People would get so fed up at me for
not being ~*ZAP*~ perfect.
The best thing for me now, is a good vacation...say to New
York City, and a bubble bath (with a good book). I think I
will take myself up on those offers, right now. And then, I
will pack for my trip to new york (only 3.5 days left...!)
As for Spencer...that situation is pretty much kaput. But,
I will include some "Words Of Wisdom" once said by the
great Jessica Valencia (my best friend).....
"And i still dont really want a boyfriend cuz what can u do
with someone ur age and ur parents dont want u to have a
B/F??? i dont think u can do a lot. all that crap is
stupid. i like boys but i dont need one till im in high
school. then its on BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I couldnt have said it better myself.