Fire Star

My battle
2002-02-19 21:49:59 (UTC)

Day one, fast one

Dear Diary,
Today went well. It was the start of my fast. So far I only
ate two french fries (which my boyfriend made me eat when i
had lunch with him) and nothing else.
I found it's easier to skip lunch if I just don't go to the
cafeteria. I hate the cafe. I can;t stand being around the
food....I just feel like there is so much pressure on me
when I'm there. I start to feel hot and sweat. I hate it.
You know what else I hate? Everday I'll be sitting in class
and i will hear someone say: "Oh, have u seen so and so
lately...she's so thin...she's ANOREXIC." Like it's some
huge crime to be thin! just because your thin doesn't mean
your an ana. I wish I could be thing without being one, it
would be alot easier, but it just isn't happening. When I
hear people say stuff like that, I just want to yell at
them for talking about something they don't even know
anything about, but I restrain myself. Sgowing that you
know too much can blow ur cover, and i'm not about to go
and do that.
I will probably have a little bit of dinner tonight, wait
till my mom leaves the room, then throw the rest away. I
must be careful around her, if she ever found out about
this, she would do everything in her power to stop it. And
she would send me to consolers and i don't want to deal
with that. I looked in the mirror after school, I can see
the out line of a few of my ribs just barely. I can't wait
until I see all of them.




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